BloJJ

This is Juan Julián Merelo Guervós English-language blog. He teaches computer science at the University of Granada, in southern Spain. Come back here to read about politics, technology, with a new twist

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HowTo not look a bit foreign

Since looking a bit foreign is becoming an extreme sport in London's tube, here are a few instructions for not looking a bit foreign in Great Britain:

• Don't use funny hats or smoke on a pipe. No Briton does that any more.
• Wear a Real Madrid shirt
• Don't talk about any of the following subjects: weather, football, cricket, horse races
• Try to have your face look positively red, as if you had spent your holidays drinking, on the Spanish beaches, or both
• Phrases to avoid: 'Oh my goodness', 'Good save the Queen', 'Britannia rules'. Double negative points if they are on a T-shirt
• Grow a beer-belly
• And, last, but not least, for crying out loud, never wear color-coordinated clothes. Only continentals do that